Disappointment Is A Hard Pill To Swallow

Have you ever been disappointed?  Have you ever ordered something out of the Victoria's Secret catalogue that was just amazing and you knew that it would look so amazing on you too?  You anxiously wait for 7 to 10 days for it to be delivered (that is if it's not on back order).  Then the day finally arrives when you pull into your driveway and see it!  You see that white plastic bag with the black UPS label on it. You can't wait to get it inside so that you can rip, not cut, into that bag.  As you pull out the item or items that you ordered your first thought is, "This sure does feel light weight".  Next you might think, "Don't really remember it looking this cheap in the catalogue". Then finally you say "Screw it! Lets get this thing on, it's gotta look better on".  So you hurry to your bedroom and get undressed to get redressed.  The verdict is......you look terrible! While standing in front of your bathroom mirror you remember you have had a child, or several children. You have that tattoo on your hip from your college days. The tattoo use to be cute and petite, but has now been stretched out, (due to children and late night binges at Taco Bell) and now is unrecognizable.  The backs of your legs are razor burned and a bit lumpier than you remember.  What comes next?  Disappointment!  If you are like me you may keep the item hoping that if you join Weight Watchers, exercise daily, and give up wine, you will be able to get into that item.  Then you put it in your undergarment drawer, where it stays for several years, and then you give it away. Why? Because looking at it just reminds you of the disappointment you felt for the five minutes you had it on your body.  

I have had lots of disappointments in my life.  I am sure everyone has.  Some are worse than others and some hurt more than others.  Some we are able to get over quickly and some we hold onto for the rest of our lives.  I have a top ten list but I won't share all of those with you.  Instead, I will share my top three disappointments.  
#3-  My senior prom date.  Long story short he was "RUDE" and ruined the entire night for me.
#2-  Having to move back for Lafayette when I was at ULL.  I was disappointed in myself because I screwed up.  All I had to do was go to school and make decent, not great, but decent grades and I didn't do it.  Sorry about that Mom and Dad.
#1-  The marriage proposal I never got.  True, I was five months pregnant, but I still wanted it to be special. Instead he gave me the money to go and buy a fake ring for myself.  I brought him the ring box that was wrapped and decorated with a pretty silver bow. I was expecting the down on one knee, romantic words, and tears proposal. I got the sitting on a mattress on the floor, in the middle of his den, putting the ring on my own finger, while he left me there so he could go use the restroom.  I cried and it was not because of romance.
This was the moment that I had dreamed about, prayed about, and just knew since I was a little girl would be special.  I don't know if anyone will ever propose again, but I sure hope it does not involve a mattress on the floor.  

I wish I knew how to handle disappointment better, but I don't.   I keep thinking that it will get easier with age, but it doesn't.  To me disappointment seems to get harder as I get older and that really stinks.  I am, however, learning from these disappointment.  When I don't get hired for a job, I move on and find a better one. When I get stood up on a date and get some lame excuse as to why he can't make it, I move on and never go out with him again.  When I don't fit into an awesome outfit that I order out of a catalogue, I send it back and get something else.  I will not let disappointment ruin my life!  Disappointment is a part of life and it is not going away, so we have to learn to move on and let it go.  Lesson learned is that disappointment is a hard pill to swallow, so swallow it, and chase it with a glass of wine.